Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
