I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
