sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Randomize