sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
