haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Randomize
