She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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