I want to stick my p in your. b.
Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
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