I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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