believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize