I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
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