if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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