why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize