I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I'm at about main and main street
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize