So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Randomize
