I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Randomize
