we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Is Oprah even human
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize