Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
