I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
no. you can't hotbox the world.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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