At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
