I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
