I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
last night I used snow as a chaser
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
