Old men and throwing up are my life now.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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