i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
