Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
