honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
