If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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