im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Randomize
