there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize
