he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
