it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
