i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Randomize
