ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
