dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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