How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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