So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
