their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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