Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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