I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
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