there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize