I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
