So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
