Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
