oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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