no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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