White coat. Heels.
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
