Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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