weddingsv make me drug and hornr
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize