I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Randomize
