By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
