It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
