We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
Randomize
