he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
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