If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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