Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
