Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Randomize
