woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Randomize