Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
