I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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