Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
