Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Randomize
