She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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