so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I have surprise drugs for everyone
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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