is your mom at the bar?
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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