I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
