ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
