miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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