Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
