11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
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