We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
