I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
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