Whod you bang
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
