I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
