pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
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