I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
