Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Congratulations! We have a period
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