So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Randomize
