you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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