Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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