i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
where are my pants?
in the oven.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize