Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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