I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
