Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
