About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Hippo gnu deer
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
